BELLA GRACE FIELD GUIDE

You can buy these just about everywhere.  Lovely little Bella Grace journals with beautiful pictures and writing prompts.  Just my type thing and maybe yours too.  Here are some of the quotes and prompts, if you're in the mood to respond.  We can think our responses, we don't have to write them.  

Not every day will be perfect, but every day will have a perfect moment.  This was an easy one today.  I napped outdoors in the sun.  Oh yes, a perfect 60 minutes.  My husband brought my tea in this morning as well, the sign of a day starting out just right.  

During dark or rainy days how can we add some brightness?  I'm thinking bad-mood days as well.  Even days when we've been hit by a trigger.  I have a yellow cashmere sweater with short, puffed sleeves that I always feel good in.  Also a turquoise bead necklace bought for me on a vacation.  But you might add brightness by baking or creating something.  Or a prayer of thanksgiving for the rain, or for having survived some bad time of life.  What do you think?

What makes receiving a hand-written letter special for you?  I don't get (or send) these often anymore. Cards, yes, but not letters.  But the ones I've saved are precious--the letter my husband sent my parents when our first child was born far from home in the UK.  Our love letters from pre-email college, full of longing.  Sweet notes from a high school boy friend.  A letter to my father from his mother; one from my other grandma to me; one from my father to my mother when he was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.  Are you thinking about what's in your stash?  

Forgive yourself the way God forgives:  late at night and all day long."  This is a quote by writer Sherihan Gamal.  Isn't it the best idea?  Forgive others this way too.  Who do I (we) need to forgive besides myself (ourselves)?  Here are a few more of her quotes that I like: 
        It's hard dealing with a heart that knows what it deserves."   This is a take-care-of-yourself quote.  And third, 

        There's a special place in heaven for the tired ones, those who lived and loved and worked and got hurt a little bit more than others.”   Isn't it nice how so-called inspirational quotes actually are inspirational?  How you can pop onto Pinterest and find positive emotions?  Not the eternal truths, maybe, but after any day's news cycle a simple aspirational statement cleanses the mind, points it in a new direction. Not everything has to be intense.  

What are the things you did when you were younger that made you forget time? "There lies the myth to live by."  So says Joseph Campbell (1904-1987), teacher of comparative mythology.  One of my escapes/teachers/simple pleasures that made me forget time ("time for dinner," "time for bed," "time to leave . . .") was reading.  I read Gone with the Wind the summer before 6th grade, Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead the summer before 8th.  Also playing outdoors, of course makes children forget time.  So, my myth of a good life might be reading and being in nature.  What about you?  

What are your favorite ways to instantly make your day better that cost nothing? Oh, my goodness, there are so many of these.  Mine are simple:  go outside, go to a bookstore, post on this blog or work on my collage journal, write a devotion for church, wash my hair or take a bath, get dressed nicely, talk to or text a grandchild, talk to my daughter-in-law, watch a movie with my husband, tend to my plants, iron some clothes that need it . . . .   And, of course, what if we're at the beach?  This afternoon I went out after a storm and gathered shells.  Free and exhilarating. Then made shrimp and grits for supper.  I'd love to see your list!   

Nina Naomi     

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"GLIMMERS ARE THE OPPOSITE OF TRIGGERS," bella GRACE Field Guide

 

Crafting at night

Look, here are some writing prompts I found.  I think they're great.  See what you think.

• "Glimmers are the opposite of triggers; they're small moments that never fail to spark joy in our hearts.  What are your glimmers?" ( bella GRACE  Field Guide)   This one is special to me because I do have triggers.  Maybe we all do, or most of us, of different strengths.   A brief one came my way yesterday when a place that holds bad memories was mentioned.  I crossed my fingers--my own little trigger-management reminder--and went on.  But I never thought about glimmers as their opposite.  I'm going to look for mine and try to call them up when I need a bit of happiness.  Maybe a glimmer can punch an ugly trigger in the nose!  I'm feeling pretty hopeful about this idea.

• "The 'Sunday Scaries' is a feeling most people deal with.  You feel dread for the week ahead and all its tasks . . . ." (also bella GRACE Field Guide)  I definitely remember this dread from my early practice of law--all I still needed to learn to face the week as a new lawyer.  The only way around was to work on Sundays--the best solution for me (maybe) but certainly not for everyone.   The writing prompt is, "What are all the good things that come with the start of a new week?"  Why didn't I think of that then?  A new week is like a new day, a fresh start.  Maybe we need to face the same old obstacles, but it's a chance to face them in a new way.  Answer the prompt yourself.  See if it helps. 

• At the end of the day, what was one perfect moment from today?  The day I saw this prompt was a day my younger grandson called and wanted to really talk.  He had taken a bus trip with a friend and they went to a museum.  I won't see him till Christmas, but each phone call--and there are more than I had hoped for--qualifies.   Earlier this week we got an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner from our daughter-in-law--another day, another perfect moment.  I bet you have many too.  But it's nice to recognize them and name them.   Kind of like money in the bank.

• What are the little things that add more to your life?  I think one point of this prompt is that once you think of these little things, then seek them out and do them more often.  Your list will be as long as mine, so I'll just list a few:  blogging, an afternoon nap, a new tea flavor. 

• Why might we send a handwritten letter of note?  This prompt makes me nostalgic.  I could only think of a couple of reasons, the main one being someone might want something lovely and personal from us to keep.  I know that I enjoy rereading letters and cards from my mom.  I love to see her beautiful Courgette font handwriting.  Children of her generation practiced their letters in cursive.  Wouldn't we like to create something for the future?  I'd like to give and receive something that shows care.  We could think of it this way:  children love cards for their birthdays, Halloween, Christmas.  What child wants an email?  We can, for the moment, be like children. 

• It you could spend your life as someone else, who would it be and why?   What's so reassuring about this prompt is that most if not all of us wouldn't want to be someone else at all.  Even with our troubles, we'd rather keep our own than borrow new or unknown ones.  So once we answer, "I wouldn't want to spend my life as anyone but me," the interesting part is why.  All the reasons.  Maybe "I love my family, I wouldn't want a different spouse, I wouldn't really want to be famous."  We begin thinking about what we would lose as someone else rather than what we might gain.   

• And lastly, again from bella GRACE, certain activities feel like a balm to the soul.  Everyday worries lift and you stay completely in the moment.  "What activities soothe your soul?"  I put being at the beach as #1.  I've noticed that I sing or hum as a walk by the water. Then #2 working in my yard, and #3 collage journaling.  But there are more.   Working on a list of good things is always healthy, it just has to be.  

Santa Barbara Harbor

                                                                                                        From Nina Naomi

ME: YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST. HEART: NO, IT CHANGES YOU.

 

Mr. Wiggles

  Me:  I love the way you follow me.

  Mr. Wiggles:  That's my job.  I find somebody to love  and follow.

  Me:  God made you a wonderful being.

  Mr. Wiggles:  You too. 

 

   

Me:  You're so green! And the daisies make my heart sing!

Meadow:  I feel the same! 

Me:  I know a poem . . . 

Meadow:  Yes, me too.  "Mine, O thou Lord of life, send my roots rain." 

Me:  How could you. . .?

Meadow:  How could I not?

                                   

Me:  You can't change the past.    

Heart:  No, it changes you.

Me:  It's immutable.

Heart:  It does fade though, like everything else.

Me:  When?

Heart:  When it doesn't matter. 

Me:  That sounds negative.

Heart:  Would you have me be a Pollyanna? 

Me:  No one knows what that means anymore.

Heart:  Like I said, it doesn't matter.  

 

LIFT YOUR SPIRIT WITH THE SUN

Photo by Ellieelien

Sometimes we awake with unbidden thoughts.  Something that can't be undone, the very definition of the past.  Our waking minds can do that, fasten on a memory we can never account for; the unanswered "Why?"  One of those life-before and life-after events.  They're almost never good.  If big events are good they become part of the welcome continuity of our lives.  If bad, they become intrusive thoughts.  If this never happens to you, rejoice and be glad.

But if it does, here are some better ways to start the day (I speak from experience).  First, remember that thoughts come and go; they never stay.  Lie there and your mind will veer off somewhere else:  the birds outside, the dog who needs attention, a child stirring, that first sip of tea or coffee . . . .  Whether an unwanted thought is circling or not, I often awake with my husband's arm around me.  His comforting arm reminds me of the goodness of our life.  If someone is in bed with you, move closer.  Feel their body warmth.  

But alone is good too.  Burrow into the sheets.  Stretch.  Listen for the sounds of the morning.  Being on our own can be emotionally peaceful.  I have a friend whose single life is way more adventurous than mine.  Hard to admit, but when my children were at a difficult age I used to fantasize about what a life (or day) with no strings must be like.  

If you wake in darkness, guess the time.  Listen for rain.  Check the clock and decide.  Rise or turn over? If it's time to rise, maybe begin the day with a lovely splash of water on your face, and some cream to sooth your skin.  I start the kettle and let out the dog. If I grab my phone I turn to my meditation app, not the news.  Or my prayer journal.  Sit by a window with your drink and watch the daylight spread.  Are you up too early and must plan for a nap or an early night?  

If there's time to write, then nothing better.  I keep little prompts.  One might be, what in the past year have you discovered you can't do without?  I can't do without morning tea, reading in bed at night, a sanctuary bath, working outdoors, bare feet, wild flowers, feeling loved . . . .  It's a way to start the day thinking of the simple things that make us feel blessed.  Or this one, more unexpected:  what are your favorite messes?  Mine are the house after company leaves; a rumpled bed after a good night's sleep; a field too high because the daisies are in bloom; my craft table; the Christmas decorations spread out waiting to adorn the tree.  More blessings disguised as simple things.  

So what do you do to begin your day with kindness to yourself?  To lift your heart and spirit with the sun?   I bet you've thought of ways just right for you. 

By Emma Rose Tait

JOURNEY OF SELF-PERCEPTION

I'm going to share with you writing prompts for cultivating resilience that are from a project to test the benefits of expressive writing for those in crisis, specifically the COVID-19 crisis.  Although our own crises may not be limited to this pandemic, since many of us live through more than one crisis or trauma in our life and often simultaneously. The writing is only for ourselves and can include the past as we wish.  The instructions are to respond for about 15-20 minutes to each prompt and to do so with patience and compassion for ourselves.   What I'm sharing is an abbreviated version. 

1.   Write about your deepest thoughts and feelings about how this crisis is affecting you personally.  Try to use the time to reflect upon the issues most important to you at this time.  For example, how the crisis is affecting your day-to-day activities, your mental and physical health, your relationships, etc.

2.  Dig deeper.  What fears, difficult emotions and losses have you experienced or do you anticipate?  All emotions are welcome.  (If this becomes too bothersome stop and take a break.  No prompt needs to be completed.  It's up to us based upon the compassion we show ourselves.) 

3.  Now write about your experience from a different perspective:  a wise friend, a future you, a divine or neutral observer or anything that comes to mind.  This could be in the form of a letter to yourself or to someone else, or not.  

4.  Try to tie together the threads of your writing so far into a wish or intention for the future.  What is important to you in continuing to navigate this crisis?  What values matter most right now?  How do you want to relate to yourself and others now and in the future?

5.  Mindful writing:  awareness without judging. impartially witnessing our own experience with compassion.  For ten minutes begin each sentence with "I am aware that. . . " or "I am aware of. . . ."

I liked the last prompt best.  I found so many things I was aware of having to do with my own coping skills and the life I lead that I had not exactly thought of before.  The writing became a positive experience.  See what you think.  

To be continued . . . .

# I LIKE . . . #I'D MISS . . .

My Box of Ideas

Writing prompts:  I've written about them before ("The Best List Ever," 9/7/18; When Do you Feel Best about Yourself," 2/8/19; "Investing in Yourself," 7/23/19).  Out of my box of ideas that I keep I found a prompt that I had responded to well before the coronavirus.  Before you read on, you may want to follow this prompt yourself.  Here it is.  "I like . . . ," then make a quick list.  Just jot down what you like. 

I can tell that I wrote my list quickly.  After all, what I put first was "colored glass."  Not my family, not my job (by the way, almost no one ever lists their job first, no matter how important it is to them.  Maybe having a job, but not the job itself.)  Not even my hair, which I've always liked because that's how my mother raised me.  She was a huge giver of praise.  

Here's the rest of my list, a real hodge-podge:
colored glass
soft sweaters
cedar trees
warm PJs
dragonflies

hummingbirds
my rain-filled creek
waking up in the morning
good books
being snowed in
an open fire
feeling loved
biking at the beach
shutting down for the night
shoes  
going to the theater

What surprised me today, the beginning of Week 9,  is that out of that whole crazy-quilt of choices [bit embarrassed about the "shoes" entry], the only thing not available to me now is "going to the theater." 

How did your list come out?  If you're not front-line, are most of the things you like still available to you even during shut-down, wearing a mask, or social distancing?  We had a brief Mother's Day cook-out for our local family--one grandchild, mom and dad.  We stayed outdoors 6 feet apart and shared nothing but conversation and laughter.  I hope your day was good too.


Here's another prompt I found in my box:  "Take a moment to think about what your partner is doing and what you might have started taking for granted over the years.  Imagine what it would be like if your partner were gone, or if you had never met.  What would you miss?"  A good prompt, yes?  It wouldn't have to be confined to a partner, but I wrote my response as if I were saying it to my husband.

Your humor
Your kindness
The care you show for me
Your love
Your intelligence
Your special words
Sharing our days, our nights, our home, our past, our present, our future, our faith, our hopes, our griefs, our grandchildren . . . 

All these are still available too.  And if one of us should die, as each of us will some day, these things would still have been true.  They would have made up our life together.   

So we're each continuing to live our lives aren't we?  We hold on when we need to, we let go when we need to, we work on keeping our balance in these days.  Thank you for reading.           
                                           Nina Naomi

YOU COUNT

There's a writing prompt in that magazine I like, Bella Grace.  You can word search Bella Grace in this blog--everything about the magazine is rewarding. The prompt is a bit different:  "What is your favorite spot in your house and why?"  @ dakota, @sweetgirl and @ophelia all answer.  I'm interested that @dakota's favorite spot is her window seat with the lambswool throw on it where she has seen the most falling stars.  Because I have a lambswool throw I brought back from Keswick, a town in the Lake District, UK where some friends live.  I love that throw!  And falling stars . . . who doesn't love those? 

Another prompt, your favorite book and why:  I'm interested that @rainmama's favorite book is This I Know by Susannah Conway because I too have waded through grief and sometimes need to reset. Perhaps that's a book for me to read too.

Readers are invited to respond to the query, "What might the world never understand about you?" This provokes wonderful introspection, doesn't it? Many of us with a bit of thought have a secret self at our core, a characteristic that is ours alone.  Maybe it's, "I'm truly myself when I'm singing."  Or dancing.  When I'm alone or praying.  Or I'm creating, writing or you fill-in-the-blank.  Or how about this:  

I'LL NEVER FIT IN.

THAT'S ONE OF MY BEST QUALITIES.

   Terri Willingham  

Isn't that nice?  I snipped it from Bella Grace to make this collage.  

Another Bella Grace prompt encourages readers to rethink gratitude by contemplating small things.  So many good responses.  Grateful for:

the chickadees who visit my feeder

sharing silence

watching my nephew play

seeing the sun catch the mirror on my mantle

the feel of my local bookstore

the group texts I share with my friends

the first brush of morning sunlight in my bedroom

holding hands with my husband

    . . . 

Yes me too for so many of these, especially holding hands after such a long marriage.  We do that a lot. 

So what is it about Bella Grace?  What is it about inspirational quotes?  Why do they sync with mindfulness and other good things that remind us who we want to be?  I think it's a simple two-word premise:  YOU COUNT.  It's what we need to remember.  What we like counts.  Who we are counts.  We count to our friends, to our families, to our colleagues,  and even to the strangers with whom we share a simple comment while walking the dog.  We count most of all to God.  A calming, peaceful thought that I am grateful for today.  Nina Naomi

 

WHEN DO YOU FEEL BEST ABOUT YOURSELF?

My New Jersey family sent me a book of writing prompts for Christmas, 52 Lists for Togetherness (Sasquatch Books, Seattle).  I was surprised that they knew me so well.  It's hard to pick the right book for someone else. Many of the writing prompts are about connections, ways to love, respect, admire and appreciate those around us. I don't resonate to all the lists, but to many I do.  Here are a few you may want to have a go at:

• List the Friends, Family, Coworkers, Mentors and Others who come to mind when you hear the word Community.
• List everything you feel grateful for at this present point in your life.
• List the ways your life is different now from how it was one year ago.
• List the mantras or guiding words you want to live by.
• List the things that you prefer to do alone.
• List the lessons you have learned from people older than you.
• List the ways you would describe yourself to someone who wants to get to know you at your core.  What unique qualities make up your being?
• List the places where your most significant relationships grew. 
• List the things that make you feel loved and supported by others.
• List the ways you like to love and support others.
• Chose someone close to you and list the times you have seen them at their happiest. 

Each list item then has an Action bullet, like "choose a relationship to focus on," or "share the words that guide you with someone who is struggling," or "decide how best to raise the happiness quotient of someone close to you the next time they're blue" and so on. It's a nice project to begin the day or end it.  

One of the Lists sparked a conversation with another couple.  The prompt is, "List when you feel best about yourself."  I said "When I feel loved."  The two men in the conversation both picked occasions of professional success, recognition or competence.  The other woman picked something related to her pride in her family.  She and I are also professionals but neither of us said we feel best when we do our jobs particularly well.  

Someone said the question felt manipulative.  But there's no right or wrong answer.  Everyone is different. We receive society's conditioning differently and are raised differently.  Our answers may vary from year to year as our life experiences grow.  A sampling of 4 yields no conclusions. But I am interested in thinking about the answers.  Strangely, I found a poem that fits my own choice, just ran across it when reading another book.  The poem is by Raymond Carver (1938-1988) who died of lung cancer.  Called Late Fragment, the poem reads,

And did you get what

you wanted from this life even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself

beloved on the earth.

Carver wrote the poem while he was dying, the final poem in his last published work.  It is inscribed on his tombstone.  I am new to Carver's work, but I have learned that brevity is a hallmark of his.  Did you get what you wanted from this life even though you're dying? he's asked.  "I did" he says with confidence. He is a man beloved.  I like his contentment and assurance.  Feeling himself beloved on earth brings peace.  No wonder this short poem was chosen for his grave. 

It's good to know ourselves, isn't it?  And to find others, even a long dead American poet, who feel the same.  Are you in the mood to try one of the prompts?  Or create your own?  They don't take long.  Nina Naomi

 

 

  

"JOURNAL SPARKS" BY EMILY NEUBURGER

I ran across a reference to this book in thesimplethings@icebergpress.co.uk, the UK magazine I cite often, full of fresh ideas.  I don't use a Journal the same way Emily Neuburger does--to scribble, sketch, capture the moment, experiment. . . .  But her book sounds lovely and full of creative thoughts.  For me a Journal is a place to survive.  Maybe for you too.  Not necessarily a fun place.  A survival place is a necessary place.  A place to say things that can't otherwise be said.  A Private Place.  That's probably why I call mine a Prayer Journal.  God can absorb anything.  

Nevertheless, I loved the prompt from Journal Sparks.  The prompt suggested creating an imaginary conversation between ourselves and an animal or inanimate object.  For some reason, I immediately wanted to do this.  Here are mine. 

Me:  I am worried.
The Cat:  I never worry.
Me:  I find life hard.
The Cat: I don't.
Me:  How can I be like you?
The Cat:  Stretch more.

Me:  You're broken.
The Blender:  I know.
Me:  Do you care?
The Blender:  Not that much.
Me:  Why not?
The Blender:  I'd rather not be used. 

Me:  I like it best when you're clean.  
The House:  That doesn't matter so much to me.
Me:  Wouldn't you rather sparkle?
The House:  Only because it makes you happy.

Isn't it amazing what we can convey in a few lines? If I still taught 8th grade English, I would give this assignment to my class. They would do so well at it.  Sometimes an idea that seems silly at first then becomes intriguing, doesn't it?  What do you want to try?  A tree? Your grandmother's pendant? A photograph from the past? 

Every time of the year brings its own simple things to enjoy and perhaps to write about.  This first day of the year I'm thinking about snow falling in thick flakes; about a sled, hand-warmers and knit hats; about a fried egg on hot buttered toast.  And a wish that is not so simple:  someday, someday, seeing the Northern Lights.  

Yesterday my husband was recalling our favorite simple thing last winter in New Jersey--going to the indie movie theatre then walking next door for late-nite Belgian waffles. There are so many ways to honor nature's changing seasons.  Winter walks are wonderful.  In cities of course, where there's so much activity and so many duck-in places.  But neighborhoods too, at the end of the workday when lights are coming on, curtains being drawn.  Sidewalks or paths, it doesn't matter.

One idea for the New Year may be to find ways to get lost.  Tired from long hours, bruising news cycles, and the clamor of too many devices, we might benefit from some lost time.  Some call it slowing down and digging in, not being so distracted from the things we really enjoy, even if all that entails is actually finishing a job we've started.  Lost in a book--the ultimate relaxation.  Lost in the richness of our town, or our day.  Reveling in what our senses bring in, sights, sounds, smells rather than old repetitive thoughts.  None of these ways of being lost is idle or indulgent.  Rather they are ways of being present, of using our simple everyday events to tackle big ideas.  Let's do it!