OFFICIALLY THE STRANGEST HOLIDAY YET

 Well, it's official--this is the strangest holiday yet.  I'm sure all of us feel the same.  On Christmas Day we piled our gifts outside and lit two fires for warmth.  Mr. Wiggles was in great demand due to his soft fur coat and body heat.  He took turns snuggling under each person's lap robe.  Only a lump gave away where he was sleeping.  We tried shooting baskets to keep warm but the chill had stiffened our fingers.  By the time we came inside and the family went home, everyone was chilled to the bone.  It took hours to really feel comfortable again.  It was like apres ski without the ski. 

Does this sound like complaining?  It's not.  I am so grateful to be alive this Christmas.  Life is no small thing this year.   As of this moment  331,129  families in the United States have sacrificed someone they love to Covid.  This week one of our family members woke up feverish.  It took 3 negative tests to calm her panic.  She mothers a family of five.  

Christmas here is longer this year too, as we meet with only two or three family members at a time and try to wait for a warmish day.  Christmas Eve didn't bring the snow we wanted, just wind and rain.  So we moved our small tree to the garage and draped the rafters with clusters of lights the tree couldn't accommodate.  Crockpot chili was the dinner.  No complaints about that either.  We are lucky to be in-town grandparents to part of the family. 

Like everyone else, we zoomed, face-timed and sent photos and videos around.

Aren't we all lucky to have people we love to share our lives with? It doesn't matter if we're cold, or huddled under blankets, or together only on camera or in our hearts. If we've managed to stay safe we're fortunate.  

I do feel like Emmanuel has come this year again.  The pandemic hasn't changed that.  We've had time to whisper our prayers, to live abundantly in spirit in spite of it all, to breathe the fresh winter air along with the wood smoke.  To tuck in with the night.  

Wishing the best to everyone in the world's big family,  Nina Naomi

LOVING LONG DARK NIGHTS

Some of us actually love long dark nights.  Are you one of those?  I am. Nothing beats warm pajamas and early-to-bed. Today is the winter solstice in our hemisphere and my husband and I have picked out our spot to watch the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn.  The last time these two bright planets huddled this close together was in 1623! We'll be doing our own huddling in hats, mitts and scarves.   

I wonder what the world thought almost 400 years ago before telescopes and binoculars.  The Christmas star I suppose some called it.  I read that not until 2080 will the planets align so closely again. I won't be here to see that.  

So a few minutes after sunset we and another couple will be at our spots at a high point just a few miles from home staring at the southwestern sky.  If we were at the beach in Pine Knoll Shores the view would be spectacular.  This is the season the sun disappears directly into the Atlantic there.  Residents gather every cloudless evening to watch the drop. Tonight they can also see the planets shine about 30 degrees above the horizon. 

Tomorrow the night will be a few minutes shorter. The next night a few more.  Until the shortest night and longest day on June 20, the summer solstice. I plan to savor the still-short days in January and February.  I plan to light fires indoors and out, grill hotdogs and steaks and roast marshmallows. Keep the sparkle lights twinkling.  Bundle up every sunny day and enjoy the cold.  Read, knit, cook, try new things, pray, keep as positive as I can.  And of course hope for snow, which in fact is forecast for Christmas Day. (In contrast, our New Jersey relatives are making snow angels already and digging out if they want to go anywhere.)  

Isn't it wonderful to have something like this free for all?  Here we have been trying to survive Covid, worrying about ourselves and eachother, modifying plans like mad, weathering the strife of politics . . . and all of a sudden it's Christmas week.  Lights everywhere, gifts, mangers, movies to watch,  Zoom sessions with friends, FaceTime with family and, best of all, vaccines being scheduled. 

I'm taking the conjunction of these planets as a symbol of hope.  Why not?  Why not indeed.          Nina Naomi 

 

 

 

 

LIVING IN WINTER RHYTHM

If we like to live in rhythm with the seasons we may like winter best this year.  Best for the brightness of the winter sun and darkness of the nights. Best for the long evenings and short days where work stops early and children are in their pajamas before dinner is begun.  Somehow the pandemic doesn't seem so strange when we'd be hibernating anyway.  When the kids would be inside doing homework or helping set the table, the older ones texting or sprawling.  Arguments or music or TV in the background.  Or if we live alone perhaps silence, pets curled near heat vents.  The air outdoors smelling of wood smoke.  

I saw a poem by Canadian poet Brittin Oakman that I am changing to fit how I'm feeling today.   

Did you lie when you said you were busy?

You were busy but not in the way people mean.

You were busy taking deeper breaths.  

You were busy thinking lovely thoughts.

You were busy creating a calm and steady heart.  

Busy living in rhythm with the seasons: winter spring summer fall. 

Busy encouraging yourself, "All is well.  All manner of things will be well." 

Sometimes this is your busy.  

Your very own wonderful busy.  No need to apologize for that.   

So yes we can--even nine months into a pandemic, the air turning colder and us occupied with whatever Christmas will be this year, whatever Advent is, and us breathing, thinking, calming, encouraging, believing--live in harmony with the seasons.  Thinking of you, Nina Naomi 

IF EVER A YEAR NEEDED CHRISTMAS THIS IS IT

Our pastor, our vicar and the church administrator have all been exposed to someone who came into our church building and then tested positive for Covid-19.  We're not a large church, so the outdoor service and drive-through communion for this week are cancelled.  The clergy are isolating, getting tested, and we all have our fingers crossed.  My husband was in the building this week too.  We're sorting through that.  No different than what each of you is going through I'm sure.  Everything on a scale.  Trying to be hyper-vigilant without succumbing to fear.  Balancing risks.  

So yes, if ever there was a year that needed Christmas this is it.  For a thousand reasons.  When life is as complex as ours is right now reading or writing a poem sometimes helps.  Here is my offer, small as it is.

Advent is a time to wait.

Silent thoughts.

Whispered prayers.

Hushed hopes.

It is meant for contemplation.

     As the night tucks in the day so should we.

O come O come Emmanuel.

Bring peace on earth to us as well.

While we wait let us be more, let us do less.

Now is not the time to do, but the time to undo.

Take a breath.

The air is fresh.

In and out as we wait . . .

Nina Naomi

A MYSTERY AT WATER'S EDGE

A Mystery

At the water's edge on the deck of a dream clinging to space

The woman felt depression lift, perhaps only by a centimeter, but lift it did. 

She knew the past made love precarious for all that had happened here.

Her presence could smother remains of the pain that was birthed in this place

Where looking and seeing and saving began.

An exorcism if you will, of what (or who) did not belong.

And now?  Love is not so precarious as it was, please God.

Not at all.   

PRAYER FOR AUTUMN

 This is the time when the ground turns gold

When red confetti falls

And the woods out my door is living and dying.

      Grant me O Lord an eye to see and a heart to feel.  

These are the days when the wood-smoke curls

And the pine cones crackle

When logs are split

And the crock pot simmers.

      Grant me O Lord a mind to ponder and love unbounded. 

Tonight is a night when the air is moist and the stars shine low

When moonbeams reach deep, deep in our rooms while we sleep content.

     Grant us O Lord a nourished soul and a giving spirit.

     Grant us wisdom to gather your gifts and count them, one-by-one-by-one. 

      Amen

N.N.

ISN'T IT GOOD JUST TO BE ALIVE?

Mr. Wiggles

Wigs is not a fancy dog. I groom him myself, which really should be "groom" in quotes.  An uneven haircut and bath in the laundry room sink, especially needed after he's found a bit of who-knows-what to roll in.  I need to Google "Why do dogs roll in stuff that stinks?" [OK, I looked it up.  Called "scent rolling,"  the responses range from "because they're disguising their own scent" to "because it feels so good."]  

Last evening standing with Mr. Wiggles by the back door I could see my husband in the window light clearing the dishes.  What a lovely scene I thought.  But Mr. Wigs and I could hear the coyotes and they were too close for comfort. Once it's dark, even if it's only 5 o'clock, we go out with him to ease his fears.  He stays close by then, not venturing beyond the trees that border the driveway.  There was barking last night where there are no houses or pets, nothing but woods and train track.  It was too early for that mad howling we hear some nights late, but Mr. Wiggles knew. 

I heard a sound like a hiss then, close by, maybe under the tree house.  I told myself it must have been the out-breath of a startled deer, nothing more.  But my light picked up only trees.  

Wiggles is a brave boy, routing deer during the early morning which always amazes me.  Such skittish creatures that a 10 lb maltipoo can scatter a herd and they both know it.  He plays his part and they play theirs.  Running and barking while they gracefully leap and dodge.  He can't chase them far.  

By the time we came inside the kitchen was wiped down and it was time to watch another episode of one of those exciting series all of us get hooked on. These are the simplest of pleasures.  In North Carolina a mild autumn night, the dog, dinner over and a little TV.  When I walked out with Mr. Wiggles again at 11 pm he made quick work of it.  I bet you're finding simple pleasures too.   

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT STILL LIVES

 

What Still Lives

     I always slept with my head at the foot of the bed because that's where the open window was.  A hot breeze in summer with Grandma's large rotary fan facing outward at the porch door.  The sleeping porch, upstairs, in the old house where we all lived.  Better in rain, my face wet.  Better still in winter, my face cold. Window cracked, covers bunched.  Comfort every night; every night content.  What can you hold from your childhood?  Who were you then?  Think it, write it, believe it.  It still lives. 

     Did you play outdoors?  Did the dog follow you to the creek?  I could hang by my knees upside down from a bar and swing. Climb the ladder on the home-made swing set and sing show tunes to confound the neighbors. Make my way down a hill covered with cacti for no reason.  Dress like a cow girl in rawhide vest and boots. Climb trees.  Oh how we love to climb trees.  Do you hold memories dear?  Remember them, write them, believe them.  They still live. 

     Live a large life.  Live a small life.  Who can tell the difference?  It's your life.  Live in one town in one house on one street or one apartment in one building on one block or one old house that your father cannot repair for love or money.  Live with grandmas or parents or brothers or pets or anyone who shows you love.  Loud homes or quiet, books or no books, trees or sidewalks, fried bologna or fresh fish.  You still live.

N.N.

 

THERE'S A REASON TO LINGER TODAY IN AMERICA

 Live your life in such a way that the

entire planet doesn't dance in the

street when you lose your job.

               Anonymous

This quote is making the rounds.  People are in a playful mood.  Not everyone of course.  Some Americans today feel like other Americans felt four years ago when the election was over.  But most of us have been trying hard to find our calm this Fall.  Americans have been planning how to safely vote since early October at least.  This week we've been counting on our latest essential workers to get the job done.  And they have.  Poll workers in all 50 states have repetitive-motion aches and pains from opening and tabulating thousands of ballots.  Under stress to be careful and thorough, Republicans and Democrats have sat at tables together and counted votes. They deserve our thanks. 

So often we have taken pride in busyness, in checking things off our lists.  But there's a respite now.  Last night people were celebrating in the streets like children.  Yesterday it seemed no one could sit still.  Dancing, fireworks and speeches of a lifetime, one by our first woman Vice President-elect, the other by a man who promises to tackle the virus and work for unity.  I awoke with a sense of lightness I haven't had in a long time.  

When we were children our lives were simpler.  Maybe because we didn't have smart phones or Fitbits and could hang out in person rather than on Zoom, a technology whose very name is synonymous  with rushing.  Or because the grownups did the worrying.  But for this moment, like children, we want to play.

Friends just texted to stop over for a glass of wine in their garden.  Other friends are coming to our patio tomorrow morning for coffee and cake.   So right now, let's linger in this moment and let our lives be simpler.  Let's enjoy our democracy.  Court challenges or no, everything is working.  There's a reason to linger today in America.  

Local Celebration, Lucky Strike Tower

 

 

 

FINDING SOMETHING NEW IN THE FAMILIAR

 

Fort Macon State Park, Bogue Banks, NC

Finding something new in the familiar is happening more and more these days.  We know why.  The familiar has become our all.  We're staying put and valuing our routines.  This often happens as the days shorten.  But even more with the virus still making many of our decisions. Today I found something new in my familiar.  

We alternate between home in the North Carolina Piedmont and home at the beach, where my parents lived before my mother's final illness.  So much it became home to them that they asked for their ashes to be commingled and scattered in the ocean.  Many of my beach memories include my parents.  I feel them as we cross the causeway onto the island.  So yes, it is a familiar place. 

There's a fort at the eastern end of the island, Fort Macon, built between 1826 and 1834 further inland from the site of an earlier fort subsumed by water when the high tide line advanced.  Everyone goes there.  The Fort for years protected Beaufort Inlet; Blackbeard's pirate ship, Queen Anne's Revenge, lies in just 20 feet of water off the shoreline.  We have lots of pirate re-enactments around here.  Fun for everyone.  

The other day I found a 3.3 mile trail winding through the sand dunes, maritime forest and wetlands in Fort Macon State Park.  I had never seen it before.  Just a narrow path of wood chips on sand.

Most of Bogue Banks is developed so there aren't too many spots where the dunes are high enough to obscure any sight of the ocean.  Here they are.   

We had a wonderful leisurely hike, except when pockets of tiny black salt marsh mosquitoes assaulted us in the wetlands.  We picked up our pace then, slapping our arms and legs and necks as we hurried on. Somehow we had forgotten that even in late October we might need bug spray.  Still it was worth it.  We saw a lot of Painted Lady butterflies, a few herons daintily stepping across the wet grass and a corn snake or two. 

When the trail we were on crossed the Fisherman's Path we could see the ocean and the rock jetty.  (See "Visit North Carolina for the Simple Pleasures," 2/23/19)

These days this was more than enough adventure for me, something new in my familiar. The pleasure seemed out-sized.  I still feel it.  A walk through a local neighborhood, a different part of the city, an adjacent town, a forest trail, or a bike ride somewhere new.  All safely outdoors and socially distanced.  Perfect. 
 

AUTUMN FORAGING

 

 My foraged fall tablescape came out just right.  Just a handful of acorns, autumn leaves and a couple of blooms from red-tipped mums.  Treasures from a brief walk outdoors.  I also found some coral mushrooms for the first time in my woods.  

As you can see from my bare toe-for-scale, it was a moist warm afternoon.  I had to look these mushrooms up.  Clavarioid fungi they're called.  There were quite a few in this cluster, some yellow, some white,  springing up from decaying vegetation.  The part we're looking at is the branched coral-like fruit body.  I watched a YouTube video, "Cooking with Tam" which included how to harvest, but decided to leave mine alone. 

I'm also hoping to better capture the turning leaves this year.  This is a scrawny old dogwood, but still the hints of red drew my attention.  A hanging basket of mums brightens the foreground.  

I'm following up on all the pleasures I wrote about in "Note to Self," 9/26/20.  That post ended with the admonition "Vote. Pray. Create. Love. Believe."  I've done a bit of each today--even voted.  We stood in a socially-distanced outdoor line for 2 1/2 hours to cast our early ballot.  How good that felt!  As you can see, in North Carolina tangled undergrowth encroaches even on polling places.  We vote in Hillsborough, a historic pre-Revolutionary War town located on the Eno River.  Beautiful in the fall.

Don't you love the changes follow the seasons? Funny how many years we can live and never tire of the simplest pleasures of them all.  Sunshine, rain, falling leaves, bright berries, birdsong, breezes . . . .  As I write these words I actually feel them.  How the sun, rain and leaves in autumn rest so gently upon us.  Breezes not too warm, not too cool. By our walkway the late-fall camellias are a breath away from blooming; the ready buds dip impatiently.  Soon, soon ready for a picture.  Ready for my tablescape.

I'm not sure what foraging is a metaphor for.  I know sometimes we forage not just outdoors, but in the attic of our own thoughts.  Gather, collect, manage, craft, build . . . . We can forage anywhere.  

Enjoy the season!

DAYS OF LONGING, VERSE FOR TODAY

 

It was quite chilly today.

It reminded me of my longing for Christmas.

For the coming of God in the humanest form.

Amid presents, greenery, ribbons and love.

Love all around.

Love in the Hallelujahs,

Love in the sweetmeats and drink,

Love in the loneliness, even there.  

Even there where someone worships alone, all alone.

Longing for Christmas, longing for love. 

 N.N.

 

It was quite sunny today. 

It reminded me of my longing for peace.

For the coming of Christ amid sunbeam and shadow, 

straw and the braying of donkey and fool.

Love all around. 

Love in the dust motes, the warmth of a touch.

In the languor that clings to a quite sunny day.

Alone or together we seek it.

Alone or together we find it.

Alone.

Or together. 

N.N.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOR THE SOULS OF THE DEPARTED, TODAY AND TOMORROW

Trinity Church, Copley Sq. Boston

For the 218,746 souls of whatever faith or none who in our land have as of this day lost their lives to this virus let me offer the following: 

Isaiah 3:1-3

But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.  

Romans 14:6-8

Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the LORD.  Also those who eat, eat in honor of the LORD, since they give thanks to GOD; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the LORD and give thanks to God.  We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves.  If we live, we live to the LORD, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the LORD'S.

Salat al-Janazah

O GOD, forgive our living and our dead, those who are present among us and those who are absent, our young and our old, our males and our females.  O GOD,  whoever You keep alive, keep him alive in Islam, and whoever You cause to die, cause him to die with faith. . . . O GOD forgive him and have mercy on him. . . . 

May they rest in peace. May the hundreds who will die today rest in peace. May those who stand before their GOD on a day that for many could have been avoided rest in peace. For each of us who will die from this plague, whether by carelessness or of necessity, whether preventable or not preventable, may we find rest eternal and perpetual light. May our memory be a blessing.  In peace let us pray, Nina Naomi.

 

TO GOD ON SEPTEMBER 17, 2020

Thank you God for this soft rain,

For these green trees

And the faraway train.

For this dog curled

And my shortbread and tea, 

For the lover who brought them both to me.

Thank you God for my body and heart

In the Fall of my life that can feel like Spring.

How, I wonder, can this day begin

With such small blessings in this year of fear?

In this hellish year of demise and fear,

In this year that is Godforsaken not at all. 

Nina Naomi 

WEATHER BROWSING, A SIMPLE PLEASURE

Hints of autumn today with a high of only 82°F.  That may not sound like much relief from the heat but in the North Carolina Piedmont it is.  Here the leaves don't change until late October.  They begin to fall in mid-November and the trees aren't bare until January. Late Fall, short Winter, early Spring and long Summer.  September will continue hot with rampant mosquitoes and the mighty chigger.  The idea of lying in the grass to star gaze would be folly.  Chigger welts heal slowly! 

I love my weather app.  Our temperature is always about the same as in Rome.  High there today 86° F.  No coliseum here or motor bike rush hour; no il primo pasta course or il secondo meat or fish course.  No house Montepulciano.  But we do have similar weather.  

London, where I wish I could live one month (or more) out of every twelve, is pretty dreary weather-wise. Mostly wet or less wet.  Sun at around 3 p.m.  Although right now late afternoon it's 64°F with blue skies.  Really lovely for London.  Even with the pandemic Londoners must be enjoying their outdoor cafes.  Somehow the weather seems irrelevant when we're there.  Some places we love rain or shine don't we?  

In Keswick, England, a market town on a tranquil lake called Derwentwater, it's raining and 51°F.  No doubt it feels colder.  We spent one glorious chilly week there in full rain gear tracking down a stone circle from the Neolithic era.  After a long hike we found out we could have taken a tourist bus.  So glad we didn't! I've got exuberant video of sheep clambering on the stones, their bleating outdone only by the relentless wind.  

And it's always fun to check Fairbanks, Alaska.  Right now it is 43°F in Fairbanks.  Not bad at all.  (Post: "Slow Journeying Through Alaska," 9/9/17) When I check the weather in places I've been or lived it brings back memories.  Living in London where our daughter was born; a wonderful visit to here or there; a sabbatical year . . . .  I know we can't travel right now, but I've enjoyed weather browsing for years.  It's not just pandemic-yearning, though there is some of that I'm sure.  

Maybe the pleasure springs from the miracle of nature, the changing seasons and the beauty of the world.  Maybe a small detail like the weather in Yellowstone National Park (Post: "Adventure Therapy," 3/31/17)  sparks the imagination.  Or Bryce Canyon, Utah (Posts: "About Awe," 10/18-20/19) where the temperature swings 40 degrees in a day! 

Bryce Canyon

People everywhere enjoying the sunshine, looking for rain, foraging for food, lighting outdoor fires, bundling against the cold and seeking the world's wonders.  Our commonality.  

It's a good hobby.  A simple pleasure.

                                                                         Nina Naomi

 

 

  

SONGS OF SIMPLICITY AND SELF-COMPASSION

Isabel Allende (b. 1942)

 In the Song of What's Simple

In the song of what's simple but true,

Bent tree rubbing at my window,

I go out.  The meadow drenched rivulets of bog.

Moss to my ankles, bright.  Toes, shoes, socks all wet flecked.

It might seem ordinary but is not.

The smallest details of living

Need nothing but appreciation

For the candor they bring. 

N.N.

 

All Nights are not the Same

What can we accept about ourselves?

As I sit here at 11 pm I love myself, 

My body which feels small, 

My heart and mind,

My sore left foot.  

Foot, you are mine. 

I shan't feel guilty about how I spend my time.  

Let's not.  Let's ever not.  

Emotions and thoughts we'd rather not have?  They're OK today.

I do pretty well at living.  God has given me that.

The amber sunrise, an azure sky.

No more precious than we. 

N.N.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HERE AND NOW

 

Homemade Masks Drying

Here is where I am now. I live in a peaceful place. I sleep in a comfortable bed. I eat healthy food and some not. I swim in a small pool and stack brush in a large woods.I care for people deeply. At night my bed is full of love because I have been married a long time.  I feel anxious and comforted, sad and happy. I am both empty and full. In the morning I step outside and am thankful for another glorious day. Such a life has taken years. 

N.N. 

BEST IN SHOW

Gathering the shells, 

the precious sea glass much harder to find. 

The colored swirls 

of white, blue and gold on paper for background. 

Snapping the photos then, later. framing.  

Thank you, God, for this simple creative pleasure.

These, today, are my Best in Show.