WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE SAD

Nothing Is Missing,
You Are Already Whole

The first thing to do when we're sad is to know that's OK.  Things happen that would make anyone sad.  When we're sad, it's for good reason. The second thing is not to fight it.  Fighting with our emotions takes energy and energy is one thing we don't have when we're sad.  But that doesn't mean we have to wallow.  We can move toward equilibrium.

Something that always helps is going outdoors. The weather doesn't matter. Rain, snow, a warm breeze or the sultriness of summer. Nature heals. This is proven.  If you're up to it, run if you're a runner or walk if you're not.  A sit or a lie-down under a tree is fine if stamina is low.  Just feeling the air is enough. You know how good turning your face to the sun feels?  Or savoring the warmth on your back? Or raising your face to the stars?  Today I walked out with Mr. Wiggles (aging black maltipoo) to see the rising sun and the pale last quarter moon was still high. The early morning's disorientation disappeared. 

If you're at the staying-in-my-pajamas stage of sadness, try a shower.  Turn your face to the water.  Let the spray pour over you. Turn round in the heat. Lather up and rinse, or just stand there. Then dry and cream yourself all over with a tender touch and put on clean clothes.  Stay comfy, whatever fits the season.  

Cry.  It's OK to cry in the shower.  It's OK to cry anywhere when we're sad.  Crying also is a proven help. Miraculously, tears shed stress hormones.   Crying releases endorphins, much like running does, and helps restore emotional balance.  It's cathartic, dulls pain, and helps us cope with grief.  Crying, if uncontrollable, also helps us decide when to seek professional help; it can be a handy yardstick. 

Talk to someone.  Being alone in our sadness is sometimes what we want.  People take energy.  But after a time, we'll need company; the loving pet is not enough.  Then we have to muster the courage to let a friend know, accept help.  During one of my worst times, I lacked all initiative.  If someone stopped by, I didn't offer them so much as a glass of water.  Then one day I answered the offer of help differently:  "Yes, please bring gallons of iced tea."  It was a start. 

The main thing about being sad, about any emotion really, is to accept it.  Happiness passes, but so does sadness.  That's what emotions do, they come and go.  They fade with time.  One replaces another.  In many ways, sadness is probably as good for us as any more pleasant emotion.  I'm sure there are griefs I would not have survived without the calmness my sad days brought.  There are decisions I may not have made if I hadn't taken sadness as a warning. Prayers I may not have prayed and a closeness to God that may have been delayed but for my sad feelings. 

Right now, Mr. Wiggles needs his second walk of the day.  It's time to go outdoors. It's time to bundle because our North Carolina shore is colder than it's been all season, an amazing turnaround for mid-March. Air sunny and crisp, the ocean is a bright Carribean blue. And if sadness comes, for whatever reason, as it sometimes does, let's each be ready to accept it and let it move on.                       In peace, Nina Naomi