"IF YOU CANNOT ACCEPT THE PAST AT LEAST ACCEPT THE PRESENT"

The wind blows over our days and scatters them like scruff.

If you cannot accept the past at least accept the present.

Go outdoors where the heat is now,

Where the brush is now,

The bending is now.

There are so many things that shutter what haunts--

A chipmunk we named Doug,

A cardinal who courtship feeds his lady,  

Some feathers (left by a fox?),

The hawks that sit on the fence,

Dragonflies over the water . . . .

                                      by nina naomi

THE EXTRAORDINARY

"Olive Trees At Collioure," Matisse, 1905

 Where do we find the extraordinary? 

Seldom in black tie and tulle, behind news desks or in our palms.

Earbuds and head phones scare it away.

No, the extraordinary likes the outdoors best.

It likes waterfalls and geysers, old-growth forests and thumb-sized red mushrooms.

It's in shadows of cedars on snow.

Where children play and trains whistle.

The extraordinary doesn't like crowds and cocktails, 

Humble brags or dropping names, "likes" or thumbs up.  No not there. 

Sometimes it comes indoors where lovers keep their promises and lie entwined.  

Or into words that startle.

It's in the voice of Maria Callas and the soul of Puccini. 

Artists find it and poets.  And then like God they give it away.

                                                Nina Naomi

 

 

 

PURE STYLE, OUTDOORS

Pure Style Outdoors by Jane Cumberbatch is an old book (1998) I found (in my own house, underneath Decorating with Shells) that completely absorbs, lifts and deposits the reader away from distancing and isolation and stress into the world of making the best of our outdoor space.  Balcony, backyard,  courtyard or patio. . . .  Just what I need today and maybe you too.  I wish the photos were mine, but these are by Pia Tryde.  They're so good the color and texture leap from the page.  

When we step outdoors we are in a living organic space.  I in my untidy woods and meadow, or at the beach.  You the same, or with a manicured lawn, edged and mulched neatly.  Or less neatly by a creek or river or lake.  High over a city with a balcony or rooftop, or nestled in an urban bricked-in yard or patio.  On a front porch or stoop.  Wherever our own outdoor spaces are.  This book with its pictures inspires us to make the most of them.  

The picture above shows how a hodge-podge of chairs completes a charming table; a mix of old and new including even plastic chairs with a pillow or two can make for a relaxing look. The backdrop above is gnarly grape vines, but cedar trees, a ledge with window boxes, almost any background would do. 

This restful spot I could replicate.  I have overgrown grass just about everywhere.  Bringing out an old table and chair with maybe a bright cotton throw or cushion would be easy.  I have two metal tables that get a sanding and another layer of spray paint every spring.  (That makes 10 bumpy layers so far.) We sometimes need to be reminded that there's a place for uncut grass.  The same kind of spot on a pretty green mowed lawn would be just as appealing.

I've got an old worn bench too, like the one just visible in the next picture.  And of course a dish towel or napkin for the table cover.  These are such simple retreats--just a chair, table or bench.  The ones pictured have not been up-fitted, which I like, don't you?  I love it when someone shows me that the easy way is the best way.  That peeling paint has character, that a rusty old

bucket makes a great accessory or plant pot.  That a bench covered with moss doesn't need power-washing and
re-staining to look good.  That a tin can with the label peeled off actually looks stylish holding a few pansies.  And an old cabinet makes a good place for storage in an urban outdoor setting. 

My own outdoor furniture includes a teak potting bench that is quickly aging.  When I scrub it, it works just as well as a buffet for outdoor serving. 

 

Stone, Glass, Metal, Ceramic, Wood, Greenery

The theme of this book seems to be that we can make our own tranquility.  I don't have a veranda, a front porch, a rooftop garden, or a screen-in porch.  All outdoor spaces I've always wanted.  I don't even have much of a flower garden because we have deer.  They sleep under the cedar trees in the meadow and eat from the stickery patch of black raspberries that grow wild in the woods.  But we all have something.  Where we stay in New Jersey, I put plants on the fire escape and there is a community picnic table. 

Color, water, light, scent, texture and comfort are what the outdoors is all about. What could make us feel better?           From Nina Naomi

"Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme" ♬

LIVING BETTER

Hellebore or Winter Rose

It's been muddy here where I live.  We've had so many damp warm days that the daffodils have popped up too early.  The Hellebores, though, are right on time.  Also known as the Lenten rose, the Christmas rose and the winter rose, but they only resemble a rose, they aren't one.  Last Spring my brother transplanted some for me from our woods where they couldn't be seen without traipsing over rotting logs and dodging the stickery overgrowth.  Leaves, stem, flowers, sap and roots--the whole plant is so toxic that the deer leave them alone.  Last weekend my husband brought a few more closer to the house.  The main erosion prevention where we live is rock.  Rocks partly buried, rocks under the earth, rocks wherever we place our spade.  So we got a little rock pile out of the holes he dug.  Since I've loved playing in the dirt since childhood, it was a happy day for me.  If you're a gardener too, don't you just love kneeling on the wet earth? 

January has brought loads of suggestions for living better.  Gadgets, technology, energy savers, mood boosters . . . .  but I'm thinking that being outdoors trumps them all.  Bundled up or stripped down--whatever the weather demands.  I read about rates of depression climbing among teenagers and young adults, women, veterans and just about everybody else.  So anything we can do for ourselves or for others, deserves our attention, don't you think?   Otherwise health or family issues, job or money issues, or plain old unhelpful thoughts can push us toward our limit. 

These ideas are ones that bear repeating--I can't remind myself too much.


1.  Take more time for ourselves.  Not so easy I know.  I remember when I had no time for anything but putting a meal on the table, supervising homework and getting ready for tomorrow.  Feeling like I couldn't carve out a minute. But that wasn't so healthy.  Experts say that time alone helps us regulate our emotions so we can better deal.  A sort of Time Out I guess. And where better to have this Time Out than outdoors. There's actually measurable evidence that solitude can be restorative, build confidence, help us set boundaries and boost our creativity and productivity. Solitude isn't loneliness. It's time to enjoy our own company, to please no one but ourselves.  Have you noticed how you're not lonely when you're on a walk, taking a hike, by a waterfall, rowing a boat, whatever it is you like best in nature to do?  Some days for me that might be just reading on a bench or sitting by the fire pit.  

2.  When something is good, enjoy it! Wholeheartedly.  Sometimes when I'm enjoying the outdoors my mind goes to what I should be accomplishing.  As if nourishing our bodies and souls in nature weren't enough of an accomplishment!  Or I might wait for the other shoe to drop. This day or hour is too nice; what's going to happen to spoil it?  Or try to anticipate some future hypothetical disappointment so I won't be taken off guard.  Sometimes I do that right while I'm in the midst of having a good time!  Negative expectations they're called.  And what a waste those are!  When something negative does happen it's never what I was preparing for anyway.  In fact the worst things that have happened to me so far I could not have anticipated, not with all the foresight in the world. So, why not savor the good without worrying so much about what will come next?  Why not give ourselves a break?  Cradle our joy.  

Illustration by Lori Roberts

3.  Give mistakes their due but no more than that, our own or those of others who may have hurt us. 

Remorse - is Memory - awake -

Her Parties all astir -

A Presence of Departed Acts -

At window - and at Door

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

 

Remorse and regret are pretty much the same.  Not happy feelings.  One way to manage bad feelings is to accept them, knowing they won't last forever.  Just like our thoughts, our feelings come and go.   The more choices we have the more likely we are, apparently, to fear we've made the wrong one. And maybe we have, or someone else did and it's affected us.  Better to find a middle ground between avoiding something we wish hadn't happened and obsessing over it, whether it's something we did or that was done to us.  I've been working on this a while now.  Last night was the first of eight weekly classes on "Loving Kindness Meditation" at Duke Integrative Medicine.  That is a part of this effort.  And today I'll be outside again doing the quarterly maintenance on the mossy path I've made winding in the woods beneath the trees.  In other words staying with the present which is not where obsessions live.  

With much hope and expectation for living better this year.  Nina Naomi