THE SHORE IS WIDE AND SWEET

"The shore is wide and sweet." 

"We aren't born with low self-esteem and ruminating thoughts."  I read that sentence today.  Wow.  What else are we not born with?  We're not born with negative thoughts about others.  Thinking others are different or less than we.  Wanting to make fun of someone.  Or to intentionally harm or belittle someone.  We might especially notice this during this political season.  Some people bring joy, some bring fear.  Some uplift, some try to degrade.  Some make us feel kind, some make us feel mean-hearted.   

Many of our unhelpful traits are learned by observation or by comments we absorb.  A neuroscientist, Nicole Vignola who wrote Rewire, says that neurons communicate information in the brain and that the more we repeat something, the stronger that neural pathway becomes.  For good or for ill, we might mention.  In mental illness, a lie repeated to oneself, replaces the truth.  In healing, the more we feel understood, the more we know we are loved. 

The other day I felt a little down.  I am worried about a health problem in the family, although it is treatable. The decision about treating it isn't mine.  Lord, we need Your presence.  Give us wisdom.  

Separately, my husband is recovering from surgery, and I was looking forward to a break from caregiving to go to my favorite bookstore, but it didn't happen.  

These are ordinary problems, right?  Nothing catastrophic, at least not yet.  Worry, cabin fever, fatigue and yet gratitude:  the problem is treatable; the recovery is going smoothly.  Still, common to feel down from time to time.  

What do you do when you feel that way?  Live with the feeling, I remind myself.  That's a neural pathway to cultivate.  Feel the sadness in my breathing, my still face, my slowed mind.  Let it be.  Don't fight with myself.  Write, as I am doing now.  Frame the thoughts, the feelings.  Set them free so they don't circle.  Let the loop straighten.  As with any bad thoughts, don't wallow.  Thoughts and feelings come and go.  That's what they do.  

Plan something good for when the time is right.  I have a lovely neural pathway that leads straight to the beach.  Missing the beach must be a metaphor.  In North Carolina every family has their favorite beach where the rhythm of the waves carries good days and hope.  It's not just sand between the toes and body surfing.  It's a space where it's hard to feel sad.  I hope to go soon.  

Not this week or next, or even next month, but soon.  We'll go perhaps when the air turns cool, and the shore is wide and sweet.  How vivid this is in my mind, where sadness has receded with the outgoing tide.  Wide sky, waves near and far, salty air and shore birds skittering or probing with long legs and beaks.  The beauty of the eternal where our health, vitality and happiness grow.

So what are we born with?  The neuro plasticity to make our hearts sing?  I think an unformed prayer has been answered today.  Thank you, Lord.  

                                                                                             Nina Naomi