The book is dedicated to those who have been given more than they have received. This is confusing until you think how often we have left a blessing unclaimed and unappreciated. I know that I have. We catch ourselves ignoring a beautiful day; or not saying "Thank you" to someone whose heart we can rely on; or not finding time for a friend. Or even just not looking up when someone enters the room. Or worst of all, taking our very lives for granted. It's like we don't have time to be blessed.
Dr. Remen talks about celebrating life rather than trying to fix it, about healing rather than curing. For Christians, that's why we pray for the "peace that passes all understanding." When you get right down to it, that's the prayer that makes the most sense. It's the only gift transcendent.
One early chapter is about loss. The author says that every great loss demands that we choose life again. Have you not found this to be true? The greater the loss the more we might wish to wither. To escape the pain of the loss. I remember one time wishing that I couldn't function, the toll that it took was so hard. But, I learned, God made me functional; I had no choice but to choose life again. And what a blessing that choice is every time.
This book reminds us of the everydayness of our own blessings. She says that most of us lead far more meaningful lives than we know. I can see that in others, that they don't comprehend their own value, or goodness, or worth. Then mayn't it also be true for ourselves?
Remen says, "Grieving is not about forgetting. Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain." I can see from my marginalia that I wrote, "This book is a blessing." She had removed her mask in writing and I in reading.
In another chapter, she writes about someone "who brought beauty to everything she touched." Don't you just picture a person full of love and creativity? And a cancer patient who said, "I always knew what mattered. I just never felt entitled to live by it before." This reminds me of the Catholic writer Walker Percy, one of whose characters ruminates about how illness clarifies. This is true, too, isn't it? How when we are pushed to extremes, with narrow paths or none, the refinement of life becomes almost blinding.
In another chapter, she writes about someone "who brought beauty to everything she touched." Don't you just picture a person full of love and creativity? And a cancer patient who said, "I always knew what mattered. I just never felt entitled to live by it before." This reminds me of the Catholic writer Walker Percy, one of whose characters ruminates about how illness clarifies. This is true, too, isn't it? How when we are pushed to extremes, with narrow paths or none, the refinement of life becomes almost blinding.
This book reminds us of the everydayness of our own blessings. She says that most of us lead far more meaningful lives than we know. I can see that in others, that they don't comprehend their own value, or goodness, or worth. Then mayn't it also be true for ourselves?
She also says, "Blessing life offers us a certain immortality. Our love outlives us and strengthens others. Even after we ourselves are gone." Yes, we know not just from the Bible that "Love is stronger than Death" (Song of Solomon 8:6), but from our own experiences of longing and loving far beyond the grave; as well as from our being sheltered and buoyed by those whose feet no longer touch earth.
Holidays have always been a time of both joy and sadness. We may miss those who made our childhoods full. Our gift-giving may put us in debt. The traveling, buying, cooking and cleaning may be exhausting. Our family may not be close. For some social isolation is a problem. Some may drink too much. There are help lines specifically for holiday depression.
But this book--and much else in this Advent world of ours--is a reminder to find and focus on the good and to be better ourselves. Hoping we all recognize our blessings this holiday.
In peace, Nina Naomi
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