TURNING POINTS

All of us face turning points.  Some we welcome, some not so much. Some are part of trauma recovery.  I ran across jottings I made at one such time, notes on the choices I was learning about.  Ah, journaling helps so much, not just when we do it but even later when we look back, to know ourselves better, what we need and how to cope.     

I like the open-endedness of these suggestions given how varied our turning points are.  Maybe you've been making these choices for as long as you remember. Or perhaps like me you need reminders:

Choose to think, to deliberate, to look for the best way

Choose to shun impulse or rashness

Choose to keep trying, not to give up

Choose to seek help from therapists, doctors, friends

Choose to pray, to ask for God's help

Choose to be truthful

Choose to take action, not let a wrong stand

Choose to set conditions, limits, boundaries--not as a threat but as self protection, even if only we know them

Choose to give love and closeness and accept it in return if and when the time is right

Choose to keep perspective

We all have befores and afters in our life.  Before I left school, before my first real job, before my mom died, before I was sick . . . .  After I met you, after our marriage, after the baby came, after I lost my job . . . .  

The same event can be happy or sad.  "Before I met you I traveled the world."   "After the baby came I felt overwhelmed and alone."  Or unremittingly sad:  "After I found my marriage was not what I thought . . . ."  Or traumatic:  "That night when . . . ."  Do you have one of these?  More?

I think the hardest times are accepting the loss, often sudden, of a before we valued:  loss by death or grievous illness, or loss by violence or betrayal.  But even during ongoing or traumatic losses these choices can help. I might wish I weren't sure of this, but I am.  We might wish we didn't need this knowledge but such is not the way of life.  Every cloud does not have a silver lining. The most we can say is that every cloud passes.  And yes, another one appears, but it passes too.  For that, this Thanksgiving, let us be thankful.  And for all our many blessings large and small.    In peace, Nina Naomi