JOURNEY OF SELF-PERCEPTION

I used to think the journey of self-perception was only for the young.  When our son was around college age, his future and how it might unfold was of constant interest to him.  I loved that he saw himself as God's creation and wonder, the essence of hope and possibility.  We had conversations that felt like stargazing.  

When he and his sister were small, gazing at my own stars seemed remote.  It took awhile to discover that this is a journey open to all ages. Our whole life can be an exploration.  As long as we live, we're never out of chances to change our lives. 

My father changed his life when he (and I) began college.  He took Freshman English and five years later had his degree.  He changed his life again when he moved to the coast, and again when my mother died; after a lifetime of shyness he embraced communal living.  My brother became a second-career award-winning artist of abstract expressionism. My mother earned her Ph.D. at age 49. She loved that her high school history students called her "Doc." My own law practice didn't begin until I was 39, with children aged 12 and 13.  All this change entailed sacrifice; but somehow my parents figured out (and passed it on) that

if you don't sacrifice for what you want, 

what you want becomes the sacrifice.  

Kind of an intuitive idea that should be part of all of our journeys of self-perception, don't you agree?  Belongs in bold. 

We know that it's harder to change when we focus on what we have to give up rather than what we have to gain. I've run across that as a mantra in the work of Annie Grace, a leader in helping people who wish to examine their relationship with alcohol.  But the idea is everywhere.  We've also heard the saying by Norman Vincent Peale (1898-1993), minister and guru of positive thinking,

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Interesting how something so simplistic (though not easy) can be true. We know how dependent happiness is upon our mental state.  If we can lessen ruminations on the past and cravings for the future, we leave room for present satisfactions to soar.  

I've written about reframing in Healthy Attitudes, Part XVI, June 25, 2021.  The death of my child can take all meaning from my life or I can live in a way to honor that child.  "May his memory be a blessing." We have the power to take the worst experience imaginable and find the grace to thrive.  This too is not easy and for me takes God's help, daily. Stars shine only in the darkness. 

Let us continue our journey.  

In peace, Nina Naomi