WHEN WE WAKE . . .

When we wake in the morning at sixes and sevens this just might be existential dread.  After all, how many people awake with self-assurance and aplomb?  

Well, perhaps the truly narcissistic but thankfully that's not most of us.  Most of us do not talk about our innate superiority.  That phrase would not come to mind.  Most of us do not pass our names on billboards every day, as if we knew something others did not.  Most of us do not deceive ourselves and those around us.  We are not users.  We are not monetizers. 

Instead, we wake with a very normal anxiety about life. We are not looking for validation from anyone but God and those we love.  We savor small moments that bring us contentment.  We accept love, even if it is inconsistent with something that happened in the past.  We welcome apologies and we forgive.  We learn to pause and live in the adagio.  We trust our instincts.  

For most of us, God is our silent companion.  God illuminates our path.  We do not want to go it alone. We connect with friends and strangers and never for self-aggrandizement.  We have nothing to market.  

We go deep.  We learn to live in the present moment.  We accept each day as a gift.  In this season, as winter's darkness closes in, we find the light.  We look for rituals for our stressed souls.  We pray.  We journal.  We ponder.  We walk.  We write.  We create.  We enjoy the birds who find the berries on our holly. We watch for the moon and the stars.  

We can live a lifetime and know more about other people than we do about ourselves.  Alice Walker (b. 1944) says that the most foreign country is within; we are our own dark continent.  Yes, we've noticed:  the journey to find ourselves is the longest journey we ever take.  For myself, I find God easier than I find myself.  My trust in God is certain.  

The poet Anne Sexton (1928-1974) says that "Saints have no moderation, nor do poets.  Just exuberance."  I am not like that, but I would like to be.  Not like a saint, but like a poet.  Like someone who sees the hand of God everywhere and is grateful.  To be on a path of life where prayer is the mortar that holds us together.  

Yes, this could be a safe awakening.  This would be enough.    

                                                Nina Naomi

                                   

HEALTHY ATTITUDES (USING PRIVATE SORROW)

It seems that a certain amount of self-promotion in our jobs or creative endeavors is healthy.  We need to share our honest confidence in ourselves as employees or as entrepreneurs with our bosses or the public we want to reach.  We work hard, we have talents and we have livings to make. 

But I've run into other kinds of self-promotion that, well, don't seem so healthy. I'm talking about using one's private sorrow as a stepping-stone to saturation fame.   The creation of a persona:  "I am young and adorable.  I thought I had the world on a string.  Then a catastrophe befell me [a disease or problem or affliction] that knocked me off my feet. Tested my presumptions.  But with the help of God, and friends, and all of you strangers, I am coping."

So, "contact me, be my Friend, buy my books, enter my drawing for one of my free books, write-in for my Advice on your Life Quandaries, join my Team, listen to my podcast, listen to me on someone else's podcast, click on my discussion guide, follow me, come to my events . . . . "  

A kind of layered hubris.  I thought my life was the best.  Then I found out it wasn't.  But I am so handling it.  You can too.  I can show you how to be me.  Or how to be a friend to people like me.  Or what I want.  Or what people like me want.  You'll love my story. 

Seeing this is perplexing. No one wants something bad for another, whether that person is young and adorable or old and heavy-laden.  We want the best for each other, friends or strangers.  We're made to be compassionate. We especially have empathy for someone young facing problems meant to be confronted after a life-time. 

We don't expect wisdom from the young, but humility is a virtue available at any age.  For those who are self-centered, on the other hand, perhaps we can help them see that every moment counts.  If you have a child, don't travel to promote an endeavor.  Spend that time with the child.  Don't email, tweet or blog all morning.  Keep your toddler home and be mom or dad.  If you are a child of God read the Psalms, not audience stats.   

This is asking a lot.  It is asking maturity from the young.  But if we are not young, we owe it to share what we've learned. We're not promoting anything, least of all ourselves.  Here it is: Time always runs out and no one ever says, "I spent too much time with my family.  I should have spent more time traveling for work, promoting myself, getting my due, being admired, gathering more Likes, selling more books."  No one.  

Maybe all that goes on in the world today affects the way we see things.  It does for me, I know.  Clearly fame, fortune and best sellers are transient. Someone whose life is short has less time for mistakes.  That could mean any of us, myself included.  Let not conceit be one of those mistakes.  Love, Nina Naomi