WHAT'S IN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TOOL KIT?

 

A walk by the shore

What's in your mental health/anxiety/stress/trauma/bad day-month-year toolkit? Maybe I shouldn't start with this question.  Why should it be assumed that any of us need such a thing?  My mental health is fine, I might say, or you might.  What kind of an assumption am I making? But then I think twice. 

Mine tool kit is full. Pen, paper, art journal, prayer journal, blogging site,  vision boards, glue, washi tape; walking shoes, binoculars, swim suit; mesh bags (for seashells), bicycle, chocolate; Bible verses, therapist, anti depressant medication, friends, books. . . .

What if you accepted that there will never be a time when everything is finished and everyone is satisfied? My father lived to 94 and over the course of our life I did not consider him wise.  But wisdom did come with age, as they say.  My dad's wisdom was, nothing ever ends.  In other words, we die unfinished.  Bills unpaid, home improvements stalled, goals unreached and words left unsaid.  There's no such thing as closure.  Realizing this is a liberating concept.  What if THERE'S NEVER THE PERFECT MOMENT?  What if we just assumed that there is always too much to do, not everyone will like us, and we will always make mistakes? That there's no separate moment when we can finally live a productive and meaningful life? What if that? What does that mean?  

Doesn't that mean that we can live a productive and meaningful life all along? We can do what matters to us right now without the stumbling block of the right time or perfection?  

The idea of unlimited potential is seductive.  But not true.  I have a son who died at age 33.  He had "unlimited potential," until he didn't.  Until the tumors in his brain were "innumerable."  (I blanch writing this; it's not easy. This is a true statement but not cavalier.)  Not everyone's limitations are so dire, of course; most of ours aren't.  But children, sick parents, job loss, health issues, divorce, financial catastrophes, aging, change our potential from unlimited to limited.  We are both fallible and mortal.  This should almost be in caps:  WE ARE BOTH FALLIBLE AND MORTAL.  

I must face that I cannot hold in my heart the infinite sea of information about the world's suffering.  Ukrainian children were kidnapped and live in the Soviet Union under Putin's control.  Palestinians in Gaza are being eradicated.  What in the world are we doing in Iran, and to non-citizens in the US?  None of us lives forever and age is not even the determining factor.  For myself, I need God in all of this.  Not as a solution, but as a bulwark for my mental health.  You may have something else.  I have a friend who speaks of The Universe.  I respect that.  

Let's keep our toolkit full.  Being outside should be part of anyone's resources.  The woods, water, the moon and stars, a walk through the neighborhood, a run or hike, working in the garden . . . all of these are dopamine for our mental health.  If losses are great, prayer:  Lord, help me to survive this.  Help me to be better at the person I need to be now.  Stay by my side as I learn how to live alone, or with this new limitation." 

And for all things good, don't wait for the perfect moment.  Take the trip now, near or far.  Write the book now.  Call the friend now.  Take the class now.  Start the new venture now.  There's a Chinese Proverb:

"The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago.  The second best time is now."

In peace, Nina Naomi