ARE YOU OLDER LIKE ME?

 

Collaging

Collaging

I retired in 2014.  From a 30+ year litigation practice that involved depositions, motions, hearings, trials and travel.  My concentration was plaintiff's medical malpractice:  representing people injured through no fault of their own by the medical care they trusted to help them.  I won my cases;  or more accurately, my clients won their cases and I helped them.  Each patient was catastrophically injured by a hospital or doctor that failed to follow acceptable standards of care.  Most of my clients were children.  I worried endlessly that I might not win for them; l might lose their only chance of recovering enough money to care for them for life.  Thank you Lord that did not happen.  It might sound strange to thank the Lord, but I did pray about every case.  I would sit on my office floor with exhibits spread about and pray.  I didn't want to go to court alone.  

Somehow most of the cases settled before a jury verdict.  The insurance company defending indefensible care decided that their risk was high enough to offer us the money we needed to structure a settlement that provided lifetime care.  I never had a dissatisfied client.  (I do know that that sounds like a humble brag.) We always remembered that this was a child's money we were risking, not our own.  It was a heavy burden for any parent.  

So when the time came, I retired.  Every case took at least three years, and I simply stopped taking cases.  When the last one ended, I was through.  

We have a relative whose brother-in-law died of a massive coronary on the day his retirement party was scheduled.  He wanted a healthy retirement but did not get it.  He was younger than I was when I retired.  Younger than my husband when he retired.  My husband is an academic and keeps writing.  He has stopped anything public.  I do nothing law related.  How about you, if you are retired? Are you doing the things you didn't have time for when working full-time?  I am.  

I began this blog in 2017, 3 years after retirement.  I began a prayer journal the same year after a traumatic event.  I just noticed that I began my collage journalling in 2019 and now have 6 huge notebooks filled with my collages.  They are journals in that they track my life; like diaries, they mean the most to me and no one else.  But they bring me great pleasure; a flow state, if you will. My craft table is filled with material for the journals. What else?  Now I have time to swim every day; our pool is heated, although right now in North Carolina the temperatures are in the 90s and no heating is needed.  We can go to the beach when we want.  We can have family visit, here and at the beach.  A ton are coming in just a few hours for the weekend.  We could travel, but it seems we want to do that less than we expected.  

The first benefit of not working is emotional freedom, as other retirees know.  We still have family-related stresses, and personal health concerns.  All those over 60 do, it seems.  A close friend fell recently.  Some other close friends have died, almost always from cancer. We are less needed than before; irrelevance is something to face.  But there are upsides.  I can focus on God more.  Spiritual concerns become more front and center. When I was working full time I could never have joined a book club or knitting group. Or taken a pottery class, or yoga on Wednesdays. One couple and we have our own supper club; we eat out together.  We have three or four couples we see regularly.  A friend and I have found a vegan restaurant called Pure Soul for lunches. I have time to write devotions for our church, which started during the pandemic (Somehow I want to capitalize that:  Pandemic.).

So many people are doing more than I am.  In fact, before I began this post I was thinking about whether all this introspection was worthwhile at all.  Whether I should be helping refugees or providing free legal services, and so on. But then I look up at a pottery hanging I did:  "NOTHING IS MISSING.  YOU ARE ALREADY WHOLE." 

Thank you.  I like this.  I think I will believe it.  You too.  Time to believe this.  Whether retired, employed or unemployed (hard), go ahead and believe this. 

In peace from Nina Naomi.