WHEN WE ARE ATTENTIVE, WE ARE SATISFIED

 

I've thought about this before:  Only when we are attentive are we satisfied.  I learned this first in a meditation class, that not paying attention keeps us in an endless cycle of wanting.  We move on to the next thing because we haven't really paid attention to what's right in front of us.  One teacher of meditation says, "Inattention creates an escalating need for stimulation."  I understand that.  

I thought about how we sometimes eat.  Say a piece of toast warm from the toaster, with melted butter or raspberry jam and that yeasty aroma that good bread has. We may eat it in seconds while doing something else (I might be driving off in the morning), without taking time for the flavors and taste to really register.  If we pay attention from the first bite, we're more likely to enjoy it.  Mindful eating it's sometimes called.  Noticing what we're eating makes for such a satisfying meal.  I'm more likely to do this at a restaurant; but I'd like to make every bite a mindful one, even if I'm just standing at the kitchen counter with a slice of cheese and olives. 

Or we buy something on impulse and after we get it home, we pay it no mind.  It brings no satisfaction.  So, we buy something else.  We keep yearning for the next thing because we aren't paying attention to what we already have.  Our houses and closets become crowded with too many items, too many to cherish or even just appreciate.  

Inattention at its worst can be serious. Experts say that when we live without full awareness, we may more easily fall into an addictive behavior, which itself creates the need for more.  An example:  a child's birthday party or playdate is not enough--it must be accompanied by 'mommy juice."  Watching the sun set over the hill or ocean is not enough--we want our glass of wine in hand.  An exciting concert or sporting event is not enough, and so on.

There's a poem by Robert Frost that reads: 

His life is a pursuit of a pursuit forever.
It is the future that creates his present.
All is an interminable chain of longing.
            from "Escapist--Never" 

That's just who we don't want to be, isn't it?  A person whose life is a "pursuit of a pursuit," whose days are "an interminable chain of longing."  What I've been learning is that concentration breaks the chain.   

When we're keenly aware of what's happening, we don't need

to grasp for the next great moment of sensation or taste or sound

(all the while missing what's actually here, right in front of us).

Salzberg in Real Happiness; The Power of Meditation

Even more, we don't have to postpone our happiness waiting for something more stimulating or more pleasing.  When we pay attention, what we're doing is enough, it fulfills.  

Then lies before us a different chain:  paying attention → leads to concentration → which gives us quiet eyes with which to see the world.  No need to continually seek something else.  We become calm and tranquil, → more satisfied with our mind and body, → and with our life in the moment. 

Well, perhaps you knew all this.  No doubt many do.  But I need reminders and practice.  And I've noticed that the practice makes every day better.  

                                                          With good wishes, Nina Naomi