Have you noticed that abundance and lack are the same? The same circumstances that could feel mean at one moment, overflow with richness at others. Even, strangely, the greatest of losses can feed abundance. Losing a son--born January 28 many years ago-- to cancer, I was desolate. All who lose a child are. Once when driving to the hospital, I saw a young man jog in front of my slowed car. "Why is he healthy and my son not?" my tortured mind asked.
But when I stood at the gurney after breath had ceased, I felt how blessed it was to have had this wonderful boy for 33 years. From the moment of his diagnosis, the blessing of his life outweighed the loss of his life. Never would I have traded having him to avoid the pain of losing him.
And don't you feel the same about your great losses? Not that heartbreak doesn't overwhelm. There's no healthy way to skip grief. The stronger the love, the greater the suffering. We don't want to forget. But love is stronger than death. That we know. It is also, if not as often said, stronger than grief. So that we, mostly and in good time, feel the abundant blessing rather than the stabbing loss.
I wonder how it's possible to feel rich when we look at life's ledger. Not to minimize our hardships, but we often do. Even after losing someone, we can feel rich that they were in our life. It would be a strange thankyou to let a death turn us bitter and resentful. Like turning up our nose at growing older, failing to appreciate the gift of years as they accumulate.
It seems like gratitude unlocks life's fulness. It can turn any meal into a feast. Gratitude turns what we have into enough. Confusion becomes clarity. We accept the reality of human limitations, and the reality of death. And then, miracle of all, we accept the reality of resurrection.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of your Son, who after 33 years of life endured death and after 3 days was resurrected. And in that way, we know that you understand our grief and grant us reprieve. AMEN
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