In what can we take comfort?
- That better days are ahead. When we look for the light we find it. Everyone has their share of bad days. A bad day is not a bad life.
- What we can control:
- our reactions,
- how we treat people,
- who we choose as friends and lovers,
- how we spend our money,
- what we believe,
- the space we create for ourselves,
- the boundaries we set,
- how we use our free time,
- our actions . . . .
- That it's possible to grieve and live fully at the same time.
- That there's no good reason not to be happy with who we are. We shouldn't miss a chance to lift our face to the sun.
- That hard thoughts, prayers and petitions can be a good day's work.
- Thoughts about where we have been. Then we become more clear about who we are and where we want to go. Traveling outward and inward are both good. This can be a metaphor. Or not.
- Our childhood home and neighborhood. Family graves. Let's visit them. It's wonderful to think about those who came before.
- That the more things remain the same, the more things remain the same. So change if we need to. Don't change if we don't need to. But sort it out and do it. We can.
- That although losses don't always get better, they do become something we can bear. They become who we are. It's not a trade, never a trade, but without a loss we might not be who we are.
- Our true home. Outdoors? Indoors? By the sea? In the forest? A certain country or place? Go there we must, if only in our mind.
- That we can let go of rumination. Rumination is consistent, repetitive attention on past occurrences that produce negative emotions like anxiety, hurt, etc. It is not part of processing. It is not our natural state.
- Being loved by someone deeply. This gives us strength, security and peace. Loving someone deeply in return does the same for them. This is perhaps the most important comfort of all. It can be anyone. This need not be sexual or romantic. It is just love.
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