COMPASSION FOR YOU; COMPASSION FOR ME

I ran across a lovely way to practice compassion during this stressful time.  I'd like to share it.  

First, take a minute to think about someone with whom you might want a sympathetic relationship, perhaps a colleague or person who is in your circle.  Perhaps a friend, a neutral person, or even a difficult one.  Or think of a person you want to treat better, perhaps someone you snapped at or were about to.  This might be someone who serves you or works for you.  A brief encounter with one of the people whose feelings we're not always so careful about.  Or think of a stranger, the mail carrier, a road worker, our health care workers.  Someone whom you may want to understand better. Even someone with whom you're at odds or dislike.  Once you've read through this, a person is more likely to come to mind.  At least that's how it worked for me.  It may not be in any of the categories I mentioned.  You'll find the right fit.  

Then say these phrases: 

This person [or name them] has feelings, thoughts and emotions, just like me.

This person at some time has experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.

This person has been sad, just like me.

This person has been disappointed, just like me. 

This person has sometimes been angry, just like me.

This person has felt inadequate, just like me.

This person worries, just like me.

This person is frightened sometimes, just like me.

This person will die, just like me. 

This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.

This person wants to be content with what life has given, just like me.

This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me. 

This person wishes to be safe, strong and healthy, just like me.  

This person wishes to be loved, just like me.  

As I wrote these phrases and as you read them, I bet we both felt like we were admitting something important about ourselves:  that we are frightened sometimes, that we worry, that we wish to be content with our lives.  Even that we too will die.  I will and you will, not just others, not just those who are passing in this pandemic.  

So I think the first thing that this exercise does is create self compassion.  We see ourselves as vulnerable and needing tenderness and understanding.  As we realize that others are like us, we see more clearly what we ourselves are like:  persons wishing to be safe, free from suffering, healthy, loved.  Persons who have experienced every emotion, every feeling, and every thought one can imagination.  We begin to treat ourselves as tenderly as a friend would, or a mother. 

Next, send the person you've chosen thoughts of well-being:  

I wish you the ability to navigate the difficulties in your life.  (Or whatever words fit best for you, such as  "May God help you to navigate the difficulties in your life.")

I wish that you'll be peaceful and content.  (Or, "With God's help and guidance may you be peaceful and content.")

I wish that you are loved because you and I are fellow human beings together in this world.  (Or, ". . . because you and I are children of God.")

Whatever best fits us and the person with whom we sharing our compassion practice.  As we do this I feel like we can't help but also send compassion to ourselves.  Good to do in these days. 

"If you want others to be happy,

practice compassion.

If you want to be happy,

practice compassion."

-Dalai Lama