WHAT WOMEN SAY

We have, again, a woman running for president.  In case you're tired by the sexist, racist and misogynistic themes that accompany this modest achievement, here are a few feminist quotations said by women (and men) through the ages. They warm my heart. 💖

"Yeah, I'm a nasty woman--I'm nasty like the battles my grandmothers fought to get me into that voting booth.  I'm nasty like Susan, Elizabeth, Eleanor, Amelia, Rosa, Gloria, Condoleezza, Sonia, Malala, Michelle, Hillary."  (2017) Ashley Judd, b. 1968, actress and activist

"I'm going to keep saying loud and clear 'I'm a feminist' until it is met with a shrug." (2016) Justin Trudeau, b. 1971, Canadian Prime Minister

"Women are silenced by both the invisibility and the acceptability of the problem."  (2014) Laura Bates, b. 1986. English feminist writer

"In the future, there will be no female leaders.  There will just be leaders." (2013) Sheryl Sandberg, b. 1969, businesswoman

"We must ... ensure our daughters have ... no remaining ceilings to shatter." (2011) Barack Obama, b. 1961

"I write for those women who do not speak ... because they, we, are so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves."  (1983) Audre Lorde, 1934-1992, poet, feminist theoretician 

"Pornography incarnates male supremacy.  It is the DNA of male dominance." (1981) Andrea Dworkin, 1946-2005, anti-pornography activist, writer

"The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet."  (1979) Adrienne Rich, 1929-2012, poet, feminist writer

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them.  Women are afraid that men will kill them."  Margaret Atwood, b. 1939, novelist, poet, literary critic

"We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly."  Margaret Atwood, b. 1939, novelist, poet, literary critic

"To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman." (1930) Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948

"Rape is the greatest possible sorrow."  (1405) Christine de Pizan, 1364-1430, writer, opponent of sexual violence

"I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves." (1792) Mary Wollstonecraft, 1759-1797, the first feminist

"Motherhood can be sacred only when it is voluntary." (1909) Cicely Hamilton, 1872-1952, writer, first wave feminist

"No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body." (1920) Margaret Sanger, 1879-1966, supporter of reproductive rights

In solidarity, Nina Naomi

NOT WITHOUT HEARTACHE, NOT WITHOUT JOY REPRISED

Midsummer Evening

The time is midsummer and I am the matriarch,

Not without heartache, not without joy.

Our joys may be common, our heartaches unique.

(Probably wrong, so often wrong.)

Some die too young, meeting our Savior blinded by Light,

Bowing to Majesty, palm touching palm.

Blessings to give and blessings to take. 

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour . . . .

Some we love plummet with minds fearful muddled,

Prey to their losses and pain in their wake.

Who's the repository?  Is it I, Lord? 

(Probably right, this might be right.)

Solved but remembered, over but not.

Bravery and love, bravery and love.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us . . . .

Help us be full (not without heartache, not without joy). 

AMEN

 

 

PRAYER FOR SUMMER

 

Blue Hydrangeas after a Rain

This is the time when air lies like wool,

Birdsong falters, and blue hydrangeas beg for rain.

These are days when bare feet blister, dry leaves curl,

And even reptiles hide from the sun.

These are the evenings we bless the thunder, thank the lightening,

And wait for a moment to open the sash.  

When we pile our hair and look for a breeze,

Praising the plants that survived the heat, the slugs, the deer. 

This is a night when we thank the Heavens that opened today,

For the squirrel (even the squirrel) and birds at the feeder, 

For the rat snake (even the rat snake),  

And the gulleys (even the gulleys) left by the rain. 

Thank God for July and its juiciness,

Peaches to savor, corn to slather, tomatoes to slice.

Rosemary and mint that never stop spreading and season our food.

Crickets and frogs in counterpoint. 

This is our duty, to protect one another, 

Our planet, the sea and the land, 

And all that walks or flies or crawls or swims.

All that grows and needs our help sometimes.

May we be worthy, may we be wise, may we be kind.

AMEN

IT'S ALL A SURPRISE

4th of July Sunset

Every new month is a surprise.  The 4th of July came and went, and we had one of our best ever.  We were at the beach with grandsons.  Fishing and softshell crabs and watermelon and a week of hot nights and hotter days.  That's North Carolina.  A grandson is spending the summer with us.  I asked him how he saw retirement.  "Seems like a lot of admin to me," he joked.  I admit, it does have its share.  Home repairs, scheduling, here and there a health issue.  But it's also a wonderful time of life. 

A teacher friend was debating whether she should retire.  How much would your pension pay, I asked.  Take that number and subtract it from your monthly take-home pay.  That's the amount you're working for.  She retired at the end of the school year and took a celebratory trip to Iceland with their daughter and family.  

When I was hesitating about retiring from a litigation law practice, I went to a workshop.  There I learned to reframe the issue.  Not how long do I want to work, but how long of a healthy retirement do I want.  Reframing made all the difference.  It took me three more years to windup my practice.

Every stage of life has its challenges, and every stage has its blessings.  As we grow older, we worry about those we love who have so much yet to face.  We've lost our naivete.  When my husband and I were newlyweds, we had a saying:  "Everything works out right for us."  We can't even laugh about that now, it's so untrue.  Everything doesn't work out right for anyone.  We were just so happily in love that we simply leaped to this conclusion.  Can anyone reading this imagine thinking that now?  

Our son had Tourette's syndrome, an involuntary movement disorder.  Our niece's boy has it too.  I know his parents' fears.  They were mine. This disorder causes pain and suffering.  But the wonder and beauty and bravery of the boy and his miraculous stamina and heart will surmount the disorder.  Our son became a district attorney.  While we can't predict our heartbreaks, neither do we foresee our triumphs. 

So what happens when your summers add up?  What does it mean to be old?  (I just read that "elderly" refers to those over 55!)  Social scientists tend to define the elderly by their disabilities, but young or old, people don't define themselves that way.  We self-identify by our strengths.  As we age, we recognize patterns.  We have lived long enough to see the effects of our decisions.  It's not that wisdom necessarily increases, but it does become more central and compensates for other losses.   

When we're young we may be raising children or nurturing friendships, making a home and saving money, all aimed toward future payoffs.  We make sacrifices for our children's futures and our own--a college or pension fund. . . . When we're older we may take more satisfaction in the moment-at-hand.  

My parents' retirement prepared me for the surprise of aging.  While I didn't envy them, I could see that they didn't envy me either.  They were harvesting the growth that their productive years had seeded.   

Experts say that levels of gratitude, forgiveness, calm and appreciation all rise through midlife to a peak in old age.  I must say, this 4th of July I felt that.  My gratitude for the sun and moon and waves, for the fish caught, for the games played, even for the momentary thrill of fireworks lighting the dark night, was deeper than I expected.  Has that happened to you?  An overwhelming thankfulness?  

I wonder now what surprise August will bring.  I think I'll keep my eyes sharp.  How about you?