Renoir, Misia Sert, 1904
Today I am older than I've ever been,
With hair still long and curious mind,
A peaceful home and love forever by my side.
At night we coil and kiss and he says, "I adore you."
I wake to birdsong, legs entwined and back just shy of pain.
Yes, older than I've ever been, but feeling almost young.
Sometimes when memory interferes, I scold and back it stays.
" Not wanted," my heart beats and chastised it retreats.
Thoughts of that never-time when from great fear I persevered.
That never-time I wanted not.
That blot that fades as we grow older than we've ever been,
That cannot change the truth and--now I know--that never could.
I am not plagued by worry or perfection, not of body nor of soul.
I've layered doubt with intuition and asked my God to comfort me.
My ears are full of silent sounds, my eyes the trees, the meadow grass,
My heart the shaggy hickory bark, the bugle weed and ash.
To find faith everywhere is such an easy ending,
And yet an ending to embrace when--you know--we grow old.
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