People often say, "It's the little things that count." I bet you've found that's actually true. As she turns your granddaughter says, "I love you Grandma." Your husband brings you a cup of tea in the morning. A friend texts you on your birthday. You see a chipmunk beneath your bird feeder. A wildflower in the woods catches you by surprise. You remember something that makes you smile. These little things bring big rewards: you're loved, you have a friend, you're enchanted by nature.
People don't often say, "I'll take a mediocre life." But that's actually not a bad thought. What if I accept my ordinary body and make peace with it? What if my gardening, my housekeeping, my dancing are all mediocre but I enjoy them? What if I've never converted a soul that I know of but my faith is strong and soothes me when I have difficult thoughts? What if my marriage is not a fairy-tale romance but has survived times I never thought I would have to face, alone or together? We could each of us accept our limitations and those of others and live a beautiful life. That would be enough, wouldn't it?
People also don't often say, "What I choose to do is not essential to the world, but is essential to me." But that's a fine thought. What I chose to do when I was working full time could have been done by someone else. Now that I have retired it is. But it gave me purpose and provided for my household. It made the lives of my clients better. Because each of us counts, it is enough if how we spend our time is essential only to us. If it is essential to me that I walk in the woods today, that is enough. I like this idea. I like that we are enough.
Finally, people do often think that happiness--or fulfillment or satisfaction, you name it--is just around the corner. You know: the next job, the next house, when you're married (or when you're divorced), when you have children, or the children are grown . . . . You fill in the blank. British psychologist Robert Holden (b.1965) calls this "destination addiction." I call it always waiting. But whatever we call it, if we're always thinking that happiness is somewhere else, then it will never be where we are. I'd like to make this a poster:
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If Happiness Always Lies Ahead,
Then It Is Never Where We Are.
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I do love thoughts like these. Little things in themselves, they take my mind somewhere good. What gave rise to these thoughts today is this: When I awoke I spotted a chipmunk foraging in my courtyard. I watched it the whole time it was there. Seeing the chipmunk brought instant happiness to my very ordinary life.
What small thing pleased you today? What nice way to spend your time is essential to you?
Nina Naomi
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