OH HAPPY DAY

I got vaccinated today.  I must share this.  My heart, my mind, my emotions are lighter.  It feels celebratory.  I want this for everyone.  Each of us.  Whatever age, whatever health, whatever country . . . .  For all of us to have the smile that I am wearing.  It doesn't change my behavior.  In 28 days we will get the second shot.  And even then we will continue to mask, to take care.  But the fear of dying imminently from Covid or spreading it or causing someone else's death is diminished.  I have never felt so lucky. 

I had already been thinking about downsizing my New Year's Resolutions/Intentions.  From Lose Weight (an intention every year since I turned 40) to Enjoying my Food in a Mindful Manner.  From exercising  X number of times per week to Going Outdoors for Part of Each Day.  From reducing phone time to Putting Down My Phone When Someone Speaks to Me.  These are all tiny, achievable goals.  They fall under the umbrella of Living in a Way that Makes Life Better.  

But to be able to follow these modest intentions without the fear of infecting myself or someone else?  Somehow I never expected to reach this stage this early in the year.  After all, 2021 is not yet a week old.  

When good things happen we have to savor them.  We have to embrace them and give them as much notice as we do their opposite.  So often we are programmed to dwell on the negative.  But not today.  Today I want to shout my gratitude for the scientists who found a vaccine in record time.  My gratitude for the health care workers who have kept us alive or attended our dying.    For the 78 year-old Joe Biden who could have stayed in retirement mourning the loss of his adult son (as I have lost mine) but instead was willing to tackle the hardest job in the world.  

Today our local vaccine administrators seemed so happy to see us.  They want people to get vaccinated.  They thanked us for coming, when it was they who deserved all the thanks. Wishing this day for each and every one of us.  In gratitude, Nina Naomi

 

 

 

OFFICIALLY THE STRANGEST HOLIDAY YET

 Well, it's official--this is the strangest holiday yet.  I'm sure all of us feel the same.  On Christmas Day we piled our gifts outside and lit two fires for warmth.  Mr. Wiggles was in great demand due to his soft fur coat and body heat.  He took turns snuggling under each person's lap robe.  Only a lump gave away where he was sleeping.  We tried shooting baskets to keep warm but the chill had stiffened our fingers.  By the time we came inside and the family went home, everyone was chilled to the bone.  It took hours to really feel comfortable again.  It was like apres ski without the ski. 

Does this sound like complaining?  It's not.  I am so grateful to be alive this Christmas.  Life is no small thing this year.   As of this moment  331,129  families in the United States have sacrificed someone they love to Covid.  This week one of our family members woke up feverish.  It took 3 negative tests to calm her panic.  She mothers a family of five.  

Christmas here is longer this year too, as we meet with only two or three family members at a time and try to wait for a warmish day.  Christmas Eve didn't bring the snow we wanted, just wind and rain.  So we moved our small tree to the garage and draped the rafters with clusters of lights the tree couldn't accommodate.  Crockpot chili was the dinner.  No complaints about that either.  We are lucky to be in-town grandparents to part of the family. 

Like everyone else, we zoomed, face-timed and sent photos and videos around.

Aren't we all lucky to have people we love to share our lives with? It doesn't matter if we're cold, or huddled under blankets, or together only on camera or in our hearts. If we've managed to stay safe we're fortunate.  

I do feel like Emmanuel has come this year again.  The pandemic hasn't changed that.  We've had time to whisper our prayers, to live abundantly in spirit in spite of it all, to breathe the fresh winter air along with the wood smoke.  To tuck in with the night.  

Wishing the best to everyone in the world's big family,  Nina Naomi

LOVING LONG DARK NIGHTS

Some of us actually love long dark nights.  Are you one of those?  I am. Nothing beats warm pajamas and early-to-bed. Today is the winter solstice in our hemisphere and my husband and I have picked out our spot to watch the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn.  The last time these two bright planets huddled this close together was in 1623! We'll be doing our own huddling in hats, mitts and scarves.   

I wonder what the world thought almost 400 years ago before telescopes and binoculars.  The Christmas star I suppose some called it.  I read that not until 2080 will the planets align so closely again. I won't be here to see that.  

So a few minutes after sunset we and another couple will be at our spots at a high point just a few miles from home staring at the southwestern sky.  If we were at the beach in Pine Knoll Shores the view would be spectacular.  This is the season the sun disappears directly into the Atlantic there.  Residents gather every cloudless evening to watch the drop. Tonight they can also see the planets shine about 30 degrees above the horizon. 

Tomorrow the night will be a few minutes shorter. The next night a few more.  Until the shortest night and longest day on June 20, the summer solstice. I plan to savor the still-short days in January and February.  I plan to light fires indoors and out, grill hotdogs and steaks and roast marshmallows. Keep the sparkle lights twinkling.  Bundle up every sunny day and enjoy the cold.  Read, knit, cook, try new things, pray, keep as positive as I can.  And of course hope for snow, which in fact is forecast for Christmas Day. (In contrast, our New Jersey relatives are making snow angels already and digging out if they want to go anywhere.)  

Isn't it wonderful to have something like this free for all?  Here we have been trying to survive Covid, worrying about ourselves and eachother, modifying plans like mad, weathering the strife of politics . . . and all of a sudden it's Christmas week.  Lights everywhere, gifts, mangers, movies to watch,  Zoom sessions with friends, FaceTime with family and, best of all, vaccines being scheduled. 

I'm taking the conjunction of these planets as a symbol of hope.  Why not?  Why not indeed.          Nina Naomi 

 

 

 

 

LIVING IN WINTER RHYTHM

If we like to live in rhythm with the seasons we may like winter best this year.  Best for the brightness of the winter sun and darkness of the nights. Best for the long evenings and short days where work stops early and children are in their pajamas before dinner is begun.  Somehow the pandemic doesn't seem so strange when we'd be hibernating anyway.  When the kids would be inside doing homework or helping set the table, the older ones texting or sprawling.  Arguments or music or TV in the background.  Or if we live alone perhaps silence, pets curled near heat vents.  The air outdoors smelling of wood smoke.  

I saw a poem by Canadian poet Brittin Oakman that I am changing to fit how I'm feeling today.   

Did you lie when you said you were busy?

You were busy but not in the way people mean.

You were busy taking deeper breaths.  

You were busy thinking lovely thoughts.

You were busy creating a calm and steady heart.  

Busy living in rhythm with the seasons: winter spring summer fall. 

Busy encouraging yourself, "All is well.  All manner of things will be well." 

Sometimes this is your busy.  

Your very own wonderful busy.  No need to apologize for that.   

So yes we can--even nine months into a pandemic, the air turning colder and us occupied with whatever Christmas will be this year, whatever Advent is, and us breathing, thinking, calming, encouraging, believing--live in harmony with the seasons.  Thinking of you, Nina Naomi 

IF EVER A YEAR NEEDED CHRISTMAS THIS IS IT

Our pastor, our vicar and the church administrator have all been exposed to someone who came into our church building and then tested positive for Covid-19.  We're not a large church, so the outdoor service and drive-through communion for this week are cancelled.  The clergy are isolating, getting tested, and we all have our fingers crossed.  My husband was in the building this week too.  We're sorting through that.  No different than what each of you is going through I'm sure.  Everything on a scale.  Trying to be hyper-vigilant without succumbing to fear.  Balancing risks.  

So yes, if ever there was a year that needed Christmas this is it.  For a thousand reasons.  When life is as complex as ours is right now reading or writing a poem sometimes helps.  Here is my offer, small as it is.

Advent is a time to wait.

Silent thoughts.

Whispered prayers.

Hushed hopes.

It is meant for contemplation.

     As the night tucks in the day so should we.

O come O come Emmanuel.

Bring peace on earth to us as well.

While we wait let us be more, let us do less.

Now is not the time to do, but the time to undo.

Take a breath.

The air is fresh.

In and out as we wait . . .

Nina Naomi

A MYSTERY AT WATER'S EDGE

A Mystery

At the water's edge on the deck of a dream clinging to space

The woman felt depression lift, perhaps only by a centimeter, but lift it did. 

She knew the past made love precarious for all that had happened here.

Her presence could smother remains of the pain that was birthed in this place

Where looking and seeing and saving began.

An exorcism if you will, of what (or who) did not belong.

And now?  Love is not so precarious as it was, please God.

Not at all.   

PRAYER FOR AUTUMN

 This is the time when the ground turns gold

When red confetti falls

And the woods out my door is living and dying.

      Grant me O Lord an eye to see and a heart to feel.  

These are the days when the wood-smoke curls

And the pine cones crackle

When logs are split

And the crock pot simmers.

      Grant me O Lord a mind to ponder and love unbounded. 

Tonight is a night when the air is moist and the stars shine low

When moonbeams reach deep, deep in our rooms while we sleep content. 

     Grant us O Lord a nourished soul and a giving spirit.

     Grant us wisdom to gather your gifts and count them, one-by-one-by-one. 

      Amen

N.N.