October is my birthday month. This year it is a very big birthday, and I planned a week of events. A kind of self-care thing while my husband hits the last marks of his recovery from surgery.
So we went out with another couple. Old friends traveled for a visit. A special group met for lunch instead of knitting. Women friends from church gathered for brunch. My oldest grandson came for the weekend. My granddaughter too. We had breakfast with our niece and her boys who were in town from New Jersey. And we hosted an evening party for the rest of the family and some close couples' friends. Wonderful friends and family gave me flowers, soaps and other fragrant things. I blew out candles. It felt marvelous.
I have never shopped and organized and straightened and planned so much for myself. It is a super fun thing to do; I recommend it. Plus, with this approach there's no way to be disappointed because someone forgets your birthday. You've taken care of that.
I also recommend the pleasure of growing older. I know the choice isn't ours, but the welcome we give it is. What could be luckier than being the age we remember our parents being and finding out that it's not so old after all? What could be better than discovering that growing older is not a misnomer--that we actually do keep growing? That we grow into all the important aspects of life--resilience, bravery, caring, joy, perspective. We never stop learning. Not all of our lessons are wanted, but most are helpful. I have learned from tragedy what mortality is. No lesson is harder. I have learned why caring for self is prerequisite to almost any other good thing.
We learn not to squander anything, not time, or love, or friendship. We learn what needs protecting and what needs jettisoning. We learn how to accept graciously and how to give freely.
We learn where our safe places are. We help others find their safe places. We learn how to be by ourselves and to value that. We're not so picky. We learn how easy it is to wound someone and try not to feel wounded ourselves. We give and accept second chances.
We were born to age. Growing older should never bring sadness. We mourn for those who don't. Every birthday brings us closer to eternity. I am curious about that. But I am far from the only one.
The Christian rock band MercyMe wrote and first performed this hit in 1999, and it has been the most played song on Christian radio. The lyrics could not be better. You might want to listen to it. Here are the words:
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes would see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
With thankfulness for a long life, Nina Naomi
